It's gonna feel like Heaven when we're home.

Anthony was made for Heaven. That has become more and more clear as the days and weeks pass and the more reflection and discovery we all walk through. I stopped at Chris and Mel's in Longview on my way back to Portland this afternoon to see Jon and LaDonna before they head back to Montana. As LaDonna, Mel and I visited in the kitchen, she told me that they had spent some time going through Anthony's room as a family. I've been thinking about what that would look like and how hard that would be, so I'm glad they all did it together. They found a couple things that, combined with many of the stories we've heard and many of the memories we have of Anthony, show us that his days were clearly numbered (Psalm 139:16) and perhaps he knew that.

Not only did his love and passion for the Lord show us that he was excited about living with Him eternally, but the fact that he loved the mountains so much means that maybe he went to those high places because he felt nearer to God and closer to Heaven. After all, Jesus went to the high places when we wanted to pray (Luke 6:12), so why wouldn't we do the same? And why wouldn't Anthony? My mom could easily see that perhaps Anthony wasn't made for here. She send me a text saying, "Anthony always seemed to have one foot on earth and another pulling him toward Heaven. I think that's why he was so drawn to climbing." Beautifully said, Mom. Anthony even told some of his youth group kids that if he could choose the way he left this earth, he would want to die on a mountain. The more I think about it, the more that brings me such a divine peace.

Today, when LaDonna, Mel, and I were talking in the kitchen, LaDonna asked me if I had ever seen the photo of Anthony at the beach. I shook my head and said that I hadn't so she described the picture to me. The lens was angled down at Anthony's feet (which resembled those of a hobbit: small and hairy) and in the sand surrounding his feet, he had written "Heaven" and drawn a circle around it. She said that the photo was inspired by a song about heaven encircling us or something like that (I've never heard the song so I don't know the lyrics verbatim). She found that picture in his room along with a ring of Anthony's that Jon is going to wear from now on in honor of his son. The ring was a class ring Anthony got in high school and on one side of it, it said "John 13:34" which says, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." On the other side, it simply said, "Heaven" and had a ray of sun underneath it. It's no wonder where Anthony's home was.

Though we miss him so and want him home with us to hug and to hold and to laugh with and to eat delicious (or not so delicious) food with, we are all the more comforted knowing that he is at Home. His life was lived in such an abundance that he didn't miss the moments or the experiences or the relationships. Those who grieve as the world grieves would say that at the young age of nearly 26, his life didn't come full circle. But I truly believe that his life has come around more fully than any of ours have...yet.

As I sat up at Timberline lodge on one of the latter days of the search, I listened to a song called "Arise and Be Comforted" by one of my favorite bands called Watermark. The song was inspired by Isaiah 40, but the part that stuck out to me was the part based on verses 29-31. The song goes, "Lift your eyes to spacious skies, let Him chart your way to fly, spread your wings and fly, for the Lord, He is good." I closed my eyes, and as the tears pushed out through my lids and down my cheeks, I had this image of Anthony looking upward and flying off that mountain toward the Heaven which he always talked about and longed for.

Like our good friend Dave said in an interview with the reporter at Anth't memorial, "it's a relief knowing that he loved Jesus." Though there are more tears to fall, and more grief to walk through, we find our peace in knowing that Anthony is home and that the Lord's grace is sufficient no matter what may come our way. May it all put our thought towards Heaven, the way Anthony's were.